CIFS: Cult Information and Family Support

Several years ago I started my spiritual journey by seeking some self-development courses, and joined Kosmic Fusion in December 2012. At the beginning the founders looked genuine to me and I did feel great, I thought I had found my spiritual path and dedicated myself for the volunteer work to organize and run many events for this organization. Somehow circumstances had changed and from being a caring and innocent individual who wants to help humanity ended up to be this beat-down girl that is scared of everything, and worried at not able to survive in this world and even thinking about killing myself if that was an option from what I have experienced and gone through. Thankfully there’s something greater than me here to protect me and I’ve been taken care of, I was guided to meet some wonderful people with loving hearts to help me get out of this trauma during my recovery and healing process, so that I have the courage and strength to share my story here.

This spiritual group I joined was led by a couple who came from India now living in Auckland, New Zealand; this couple had different names when I joined their “AwaKeNiN & TrAnsForMaTioN workshop” in December 2012, which they claimed to remove people’s lower dense energy body of the 3D/4D grids and people who did the workshop would go back to Source (where our souls originate) after this life time.

After the workshop I was drawn to their “mission” and very involved in the volunteer work since the beginning of 2013. Their teachings I heard were mainly about becoming a sovereign being, not to be trapped in the religious dogmas, etc. that we are our own master and don’t need to rely on anyone. In the following few years I spent averagely 3-4 hours (or more) nearly every day in my spare time to prepare, organize and participate in various exhibitions and events, I sacrificed my time with family and barely had interactions with my husband and my son. Most people in this group knew me as very passionate and devoted to this couple/organization, even the wife often praised me in front of the group of volunteers for my contributions along the way.

In September 2015 I left my full time ($60K+ per year) university library job for Kosmic Fusion work, I also spent AUD 20,000+ to hire a marketing consultant in Taiwan wishing to build Taiwan market for this organisation (I consulted with the wife in front of the husband and other students when we had dinner on the last day of the 2015 retreat) they were OK with it (but later on they laughed at me for having this stupid idea during my “confession” session and framed me as trying to to build something just for myself). I wasn’t able to progress on anything much after spending so much money because this couple gave big visions but didn’t walk the talk, they also changed how things operated from time to time.

The mission was huge in that it came in different phases (Phase 1, 2, 3…), from time to time they blamed the students for still having egos and slowing down the whole mission, i.e. to save the planet earth, and bring people back to Source for soul liberation, etc. They tended to share some New Age “Absolute Teachings” with scientific terminologies in Quantum Physics or metaphysics that were hard for people to comprehend and attracted followers wishing to learn more. The main principles of their teachings during this period were based on the concept of “Oneness”, we are the Source and don’t need any middle man, spiritual guides or channeling etc. as we are sovereign beings.

In the past few years there were a few hundred people who did their workshop worldwide (they are called “5D++ Pulsars”, later on they were claimed to be the “resources of Kosmic Fusion” internally). Among them a group of about 15 students from New Zealand, Dubai, Singapore, Netherlands, Malaysia, India, and Australia joined the “Facilitator in Training (FIT) program” since 2013/2015. This couple started to ask the FIT students to address them as Sree Maa (instead of KaVeeTa) and Shri Ji (instead of SuNiEL) back in 2013. We were not allowed to address them as “he/him, she/her or they/them”, and had to use Indian expressions for greetings. We were not supposed to use “I”, but use “i” instead in writing to express our ego self, etc. it feels like mind control with some language manipulation when looking back. The wife told us she “scans” our energy body every day to monitor us and knows what we are doing 24/7, indicating the FIT students (and some Pulsars) were under the surveillance all the time.

At the beginning the couple called themselves the “guardians” of Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse (QVSWPP), the so-called “Mother of all frequencies, energies and vibrations” that they were sharing. During the Kawai PuraPura retreat in New Zealand in mid-2015, we were told the husband is the destroyer “Shiva” and the wife represents the sustainer “Vishnu”. They initiated this close group of students (FITs) to be the “gate keepers” of QVSWPP and all of us received a new name as their “blessings” and these spiritual names are having “higher vibrations”, my name used in this group was changed from “Irene” to “Komal”. The FIT students were encouraged to read “Bhagavad Gita” (an Indian scripture) after the retreat. In late 2015, they had a ceremony in India and claimed that “KaVeeTa & SuNiEL” had left their physical bodies and they fully embodied “Sree Maa Shri Ji” as Satguru / Parabrahman, i.e. the QVSWPP, the Zero point, the Absolute, etc.

From my impression the wife lives a luxury lifestyle especially in the early days. Occasionally she sent personal messages asking me to buy things for her, I paid for her a few pairs of very expensive and trendy optical glasses worth more than AUD 2,000 on top of other irregular contributions. The FIT students were also asked to give them regular money contributions for their constant teachings as Guru. We were trained to support the “Absolute” without questioning, back then I felt it’s my honor to make any contributions.

In mid-2016 during the Taupo retreat in New Zealand, the founders introduced themselves as the “living embodiment” of the Absolute/Source, i.e. QVSWPP, and announced they are the reincarnation of “Bhagwan Swaminarayan” (Indian God/Deity), the wife is the female form and the husband is the male form of embodiment. They are “the One and the Only One” Absolute, and they said “Swaminarayan = Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse” that is open to everyone (but later on I was forbidden to access).

After the retreat the FIT students were asked to wear Kanthi (beads necklace) and Tilak/Chandlo (dot and U-sharped line on the forehead) as a symbol of devotee and to do Aarti (Indian worship ritual) twice a day, gazing at the founders’ photo (sometimes Swaminarayan’s). After the Aarti we were to do a so-called “Bhakti Bhaav Session” that we offered our devotion and gratitude to the couple in order to receive their “blessings” multi-folds back. After a “re-birth” ceremony at the retreat the FITs became “Satsangis” (truth seeker or devotee) of Bhagwan Swaminarayan. We were required to be 100% in devotion and surrender to them (the Absolute) in order to obtain soul liberation. We have been introduced to do full body prostration to them since 2013 retreat and it has become a normal practice for any physical or online gatherings.

As devotees/Satsangis we were taught to have 4 hours of sleep every day to overcome the “program” that controls the physical body; later on we were asked to fast on Ekadashi days and also to keep 24/7 “daily activity log” and report back to the couple what we did on hourly basis for some period of time. We were asked to listen/sing Kirtans (Indian devotional songs) daily and chant “Swaminarayan” 24/7, most importantly we had to please them so that we’ll have the chance to go to “Akshardham” (God’s abode) after this life. When I stayed with the couple in the “Ashram” in Auckland, the wife once mentioned she is like the “immigration officer”, we will be received by Shreeji Maharaj (Bhagwan Swaminarayan, the Indian God/Deity) with her “stamp” (approval).

When I was in the “Ashram”, I witnessed them cooking and eating a garlic dish which the Indian God/Deity and followers will never eat. They didn’t really follow the rules themselves such as doing the Aarti on time, but they demanded their devotees to follow all these rules strictly because the wife claimed they are the “Absolute”/controller of the universes and can say/do whatever they like.

In early 2016 the couple rented a big house in Auckland called "Ashram", initially there were two female devotees from India and Singapore living with them and serving them. Post the retreat in 2016, we were told that we need to get rid of our ego in order to move on for the mission. In the Ashram they started to target the Indian student living with them with a very intensive reflection/confession process. They started with many “discourses” with the Indian student, in some of the sessions she had to kneel down and confess in front of everyone, the local devotees joined the physical meeting and others living outside New Zealand joined online via conference call. The wife was always the one giving the “discourses”, the husband was supporting her and covers the admin and IT related background work, and there’s no doubt they work very closely together.

We were taught it's the “P.R.O.C.E.S.S” to confess all the wrong doings in order to "come clean" and to get rid of the ego, i.e. the small self, our dark side. In this process the Indian devotee signed a paper to donate her apartment to Kosmic Fusion for the funding of building Mandir/temple to show her devotion; there were also lots of “dramas” happening along with the “P.R.O.C.E.S.S”. Just a few months after the Indian student was put through this forced confession, the Singapore student also living with them became the next target, her process was also very intense, she once told me in person she was nearly going mad and couldn’t tell what’s right or wrong, she also told me she was suicidal during the “come clean” process.

Between the end of 2016 and early 2017 another two NZ female devotees moved into the Ashram to live with the couple. Soon they were also going through similar treatments, but it did not last as long as the first two devotees. When looking back, I feel this couple created enormous fear and stress for the targeted devotee(s) to control and brainwash the rest as a group, as we also needed to write the same sort of confession letters as well. All the “discourses” in the confession sessions had been recorded and distributed to all devotees and needed to be listened to as the “Absolute teachings” for the highest good.

In early 2017 most of the devotees were invited for an India Pilgrimage trip. It was about 3 weeks long. They took us to the Ganges River, Lord Shiva, Krishna and Hanumanji’s (Indian deities) temples; we also went to a few major Swaminarayan temples in West India. The wife told the Sankhyayogis (female saints) in the Swaminarayan temples we are the Satsangis (Swaminarayan’s devotees), the Sankhyayogis were very impressed to see a group of foreigners to be Satsangis, but they didn’t know what was really happening behind the scenes. During the trip we were asked to make cash contributions as a group for different temples and also for some stuff the wife bought.

It was a very intensive trip, the wife kept saying Shreeji Maharaj (Bhagwan Swaminarayan) was giving up on the FITs and left the decision to her whether to cancel the FIT program or not, she told us she could twist Shreeji Maharaj’s arms and make decisions. We were asked to reflect on our “Mr. Bean’s consciousness / white-ass mentalities” at the end of the trip and got scolding’s for the “mistakes” we made. Later on in one of the “discourses” she mentioned that the “white people” born outside India have lost their skin colour and are not even included in the 4 castes, they are the lowest because they are not even the 5th class (i.e. no class), I felt the teaching created hierarchy within the group because of the skin colour.

The wife was also hinting to initiate the only male among the devotees to be the Santo (saint), and the rest of the female students to be the Sankhyayogis (female saint), and was talking about the designs of the clothes and building temples as another big vision. They wanted to build a Mandir (Indian temple) in New Zealand and each of us was to contribute about US$1,000+ for the Mandir project; earlier the wife purchased approximately US$15,000~20,000 worth of Sarees (Indian women’s dress) in another India trip and said they were the Prasadis (the items used by the Indian God/Deity) and the devotees were asked to make contributions. The financial contribution collected by this couple came in many forms; it could accumulate to a great amount over a long period of time.

Not long after the Indian trip, the wife made a big scene about canceling the FIT program and the couple stopped wearing Kanthi/Chandlo and not doing Aarti that made us feel very guilty. Then there was a gradation created within this group that was divided into “Deeksha team” (closest to the couple), “core team” and “support team”, an obvious hierarchy structure that the “Deeksha team” had the most privilege to communicate with the wife directly and pass on the instructions to other teams, the support team received the least information.

After coming back to Australia from the India Pilgrimage, there was a period of time I felt like I had been hypnotized, I couldn’t stay awake and dozed off twice when driving from the shopping centre back to my home which was only 20 mins away, the first time I drove to the opposite lane and the second time I hit the safety island and damaged my car just before I went to the “Ashram” in Auckland.

Before I was targeted, I was considered very devoted and had been praised by the wife (Sree Maa) quite often in the group; therefore my impression was I’ve been doing the right thing most of the time. As a normal human being I’m not perfect and knew I had occasionally made “mistakes” (by their standard), but I always tried my best to correct myself to meet their “standards” which kept changing from time to time. I always felt nervous and had to be extremely careful when sending out any messages or emails because the wife might reply with very vague answers and I had to guess the meaning sometimes, as I felt it’s rude to ask the same question over and over again; sometimes she would throw back with harsh scolding language if I didn’t reply “properly”.

I was in the “good book” in this group most of the time until I went to stay in the “Ashram”. In mid-2017 I was asked by the wife to go to Auckland to show the Indian and Singapore devotees how to serve the couple. I offered to stay back to offer my “seva” (selfless service) consequently I missed two flights and ended up staying in the “Ashram” for 3 months. I sacrificed the time with my family again because I wanted to serve the couple as much as I could, but didn’t realize I would become the next target. The situation was getting worse the longer I stayed.

At the beginning of my stay there were lots of “discourses” mainly scolding and reprimanding the Indian & Singapore devotees that were still living with them. The other two local devotees had moved out and left the group one month before I arrived in Auckland, one of them was literally running away and refuses any contact whatsoever. During the stay I had to wake up by 6.30 a.m. daily but often went to bed post mid-night as there were long hours of “discourses” nearly every day.

The wife always said there wasn’t much work to do in the Ashram but she would give more and more tasks than the devotees were able to cope with on a daily basis. There was not much rest during the day. If tasks were not finished by meeting the “standard” or following the “instruction” you would most likely receive her “discourses”. It was a very intensive experience living in the Ashram, I tried very hard not to make “mistakes” for every single movement, everything I said, every message I sent and to “please” the couple while not having enough sleep all the time.

At the beginning I still had a room to sleep in on the floor with blankets, in the second half of the stay I only had the option to sleep on the sofa or go down stairs to sleep on the floor in an open space next to a pool table. At that time I wasn’t aware I’d been treated like a slave because I was not the only one.

I did every possible thing in the best way I could to serve the couple including cooking 2-3 meals every day. I also did lots of hand-craft projects assigned by the wife to decorate their small Mandir in the Ashram, making beds, clearing the bathroom and toilet used by the couple, attended meetings online or physically doing what was needed. During my “confession” sessions I was still being accused for “cutting corners” for the “seva” (services) because I was expected to do “every task” perfectly in the Ashram. They picked faults/flaws on me for nearly everything. I had no job for two years and was still contributing for some of the expenses while staying in the Ashram, apparently offering my “time and labour” were not considered as “contribution”. Later on I got drilled so much because of the “money” issues, this is only reflecting what’s most important to the couple. In 2017, alone there was more than $20,000 out of my and my husband’s pockets contributed to this group.

The wife often changed what she said and gave different instructions for the same task, applied different standards to different devotees at different times. Being the “Absolute” they are always right and the devotees had to learn the couple’s “likes” and “dislikes” to please them, and follow their Agnya (divine order) to get a better chance for going to the “Akshardham”. She often said Shreeji Maharaj (the Indian Deity) had given up on us and only a few can “make it” this implied the devotees need to work harder to fight for their spots for the “soul liberation”.

I remember clearly one day the wife told me “I’ll make sure you fail” but I didn’t understand what she meant at that time. When I look back on the whole process I realize they had set many traps for me to fall into so that they could blame me for whatever I did. Before I left NZ in early Sep 2017 they made me believe I had made lots of big mistakes and had to start writing my reflection/confession letters. I felt very sad and worried when I left NZ and was afraid of what they were going to do with me. At that time I was still naive and believed they were the only saviors and I would have no future if I leave the group, so I was following their instructions with lots of fear.

After I came back to Australia, the “Deeksha team” started to contact me, asking me to write my reflection/confession letters, I was struggling to write the letters, because my main intention was to spread their work/mission to the world that I worked very hard for.

I started with writing a detailed financial report for the “Ashram grocery expenses” including all the images, and text messages from WhatsApp group chats to prove I wasn’t the “perpetrator”, the wife was extremely angry at me after reading my report and said I was passing on the blame to other devotees. I understand now it was actually underlying the couple’s fear that I was able to give full evidence in that I was able to collect and present it to them. I believe it triggered what they did to me later on to destroy all the factual evidence at my end.

After I submitted the financial report, the Singapore student called me to write the confession letters, i.e. only to write the worst intentions for everything I did, and how I manipulated everything as well as people in details in order to “come clean”. The Singapore student told me earlier in her experience just say “yes” and admit everything they said, this is what she hinted me to do, because the couple could “read” the subconscious mind that we are not aware of.

Later on they sent me a 14-page “report” written by the Singapore student listing every single area of “misconduct” that I supposedly did in the Ashram. Altogether there were 128 bullet points to accuse me for many minor things. Some of them I wasn’t even aware of doing, and most of them were not even true. In the meantime I was threatened and given a time pressure to write my confession letters, so I ended up copying what the Singapore student wrote about me in my letters. I felt horrified that I was forced to write a lot of bad things about myself that I couldn’t even identify if they were real in the end. I felt like being in a pressure cooker and couldn’t find my way out.

The wife kept saying I hadn’t come clean, so I had to keep writing and keep attending confession/questioning sessions a few times a week. I was asked to fill out a few different questionnaires, one of them was a “behavioral chart”, they kept returning back to me (for 3 times) and asked me to revise and change the figures, so I ended up putting the figures high enough for every questions, finally I fitted into the “malignant narcissist” category. Every targeted student in the P.R.O.C.E.S.S was labeled for various types of “narcissists”, the vocabulary I actually learned only from this group.

If I hadn’t gone through these intensive confession process/sessions, I wouldn’t be able to comprehend the depth of manipulations this couple did to the devotees, I felt sorry for those students targeted before me because I chose to believe the couple and played the role to go against the targeted ones by following the leaders “instructions” along with others in the group.

During these 5 years of volunteer work for this group, I worked closely with the only male student living in Sydney. He was also drawn to this energy work/mission from the very beginning, and we both registered as the directors of “Kosmic Fusion Australia” company since early 2014 mainly for tax return purposes and he had been playing a supporting role to run the events that we worked on together most of the time. We discussed and both agreed with whatever we did together. We had good times from running the events, of course there were disagreement at times but they were often sorted eventually to move on with the events planned. There were also some other volunteers involved but not as much as me and him. In the first couple of years we were considered being the “pillar” in Australia. During the retreat he also received his spiritual name which is well-known as the greatest devotee of Lord Ram (Indian Deity).

After I moved to the Central Coast in 2016, I invited this male devotee to set up a “Holistic Freedom Wellness Centre” in our house so we didn’t have to organize a venue all the time for Kosmic Fusion Meetup meditation and workshops. The male devotee and a “Pulsar” agreed to come to help with the renovation, each time my husband and I took them to nice restaurants to thank them for their assistance, later on I was blamed by the wife for not giving them “money” that I was exploiting the Kosmic Fusion “resources” without asking for the couple’s “permission” to ask for help.

The male devotee and I also registered as partnership in business and we had equal share for all the expenses and profits for events we ran together. To me he was the most reliable person among the Sydney devotees, and we became like close friends from working closely during these 5 years, I treated him like my family, but during my confession sessions, the wife accused me that I “abused” and “exploited” the male devotee for 5 years and I had to write all the “manipulations” I did to him.

After 2 months’ intensive confession sessions I was threatened with so much fear and forced to confess, they put words in my mouth to say forced things that were lies. Can you imagine what I had to go through to be forced to say “I couldn’t get into his paints so I got into his head”, imagine being forced to say this.

This male devotee became fully under their control, and brainwashed, he said “I will go to jail/hell” just to bring me down, because he will go to the police and court “give evidence” for whatever the wife accused me of. Everything in the end became my “manipulations” only and he was the “ultimate victim”. It was very clear to me they wanted to break the male devotee’s trust in me and to tear both of us apart because we always worked together as a team, We were “banned” to contact each other forever by the “LEADER”.

I felt very sad to see someone I worked closely with for 5 years suddenly having enormous hatred against me, in his Facebook post on 22 June 2018, this male devotee defamed me with so many twisted stories. Why he didn’t mention that he borrowed money from me before? In Oct/Nov 2017 I transferred $4,355 to pay off Kosmic Fusion Australia’s bank account under his name. I’m not surprised why he did this to me, I don’t blame him just hoping one day he will wake up and see the truth.

One of the Indian devotees working as a flight attendant in Dubai had slapped me in the face the most. She suddenly returned equivalent US$ 450 to my PayPal account in June 2018 and emailed me she didn’t want to receive any money from my “fake” contribution. When I asked about the NZ $5,800 she received from me in Nov 2017, she gave a long twisted story and was reluctant to return the money back, I emailed back and told her there is no need to give excuses to conflict what she said in the first place, she could keep the money that was contributed to the couple for June 2017 rental (NZ$ 3800) and grocery expenses (NZ$ 2000) for the Ashram. In reality who is taking who’s money?

Same with other devotees, during the confession I was under pressure to reveal how I “manipulated” or ‘bullied” each individual devotee/volunteer and there is enormous hatred projected on me; I am not surprised, they were brainwashed to defame me on their Face book messages. I feel sorry for them because I used to be one of them who were instructed how to treat the targeted ones, I totally understand what it was like.

During my recovery period and learning how leaders in cults work to control followers these past few months I gradually figured out how there are similar patterns on how they manipulate and target devotees leading to intensive confessional process for ultimate control. I was so blinded and not able to pin point how they operated to control followers to do terrible things. My observations are as follows:

Live with the couple to be observed closely:
First of all targeted devotees were people living with the couple in the “Ashram” for a few months at least that gave the couple the opportunity to observe the targeted ones closely and collect the so called “evidence”.

Sleep deprivation:
In the Ashram we were asked to wake up early in the morning at 6.30 am, 4-5 hours of sleep every day was the normal practice, sometimes less. We were given “Agnya” (divine order) every now and then to serve the couple to keep us busy apart from the on-going long hours of “discourses”, we were not given much time to rest therefore we had more chance to make “mistakes”.

Give more tasks than one can handle and a constant change of instructions/standards:
This gave the couple opportunities to pick faults/flaws to make the targeted one feel bad, and mislead other devotees to have bad impressions about the targeted one(s), because the other devotees didn’t live with them and would believe whatever they said as they are the “Absolute”.

Create some “scenarios” or give certain instructions in order to frame the targeted ones later on:
The wife often gave instructions for how to treat or talk to certain devotee(s). But when it came to the confession sessions, the intentions were to questioned and drill the targeted one in order to “come clean”. If I said it’s from the couple’s instructions they would question me, “why I framed the couple”… I was not allowed to talk back, I could only talk about my bad intentions.

Give vague reply’s and keep quiet for things the devotee(s) did but only “reveal” these “incidents” during their confession sessions by saying they are “collecting the evidence”:
I was accused of “abusing” and “manipulating” the male devotee for 5 years who worked with me closely. If this couple are the “All-knowing Absolute” and if they considered and believed these “abusive & manipulative” behaviors existed why did they allow them to happen for all these years? The wife was actually praising my performances in the emails, WhatsApp chats, retreats and discourses for many times before I became the target. This is only one of the examples of what they did to me to twist things around, and I wasn’t the only one who had this similar treatment.

All the correspondence history was checked line by line:
Once the confession process began, all the emails, WhatsApp chats, etc. were retrieved and printed out, highlighted line by line that were used to question/drill the targeted one about their every bad intention. They normally focused on one main targeted devotee at a time to stay focused. In my case it was nearly 5 years of records for them to go through that gave them a lot of “materials” to drill me on; some of them I didn’t even have any memory of but still need to “confess” because they would “remind” me based on what I had written/done.

Downgrade and belittle the targeted ones by calling the “old names” instead of the “spiritual names”:
same as other targeted devotees, my spiritual name was “Komal” but they started to call my old name “Irene” after these confession sessions. They kept “downgrading” me to make me feel I was the lowest and not even deserving to stay in this organization; from my experience I had never seen any volunteer who left the group without a bad name.

Isolate the devotees from their partners/family/friends for easier control:
They gave different stories to make the targeted devotees believed that it’s better off to leave their partners/family due to their negative personalities. The Indian student was asked to leave her boyfriend because the Leader predicted he would commit suicide if they stayed together; I was asked to divorce my husband and move out of my house. Two of the targeted devotees had been asked to post their confession letters on their personal Facebook. People would think there was something wrong with them. I believe they were gradually isolated from friends, the worst part was their reputations were damaged enormously.

Long hours questioning time & psychological abuse:
After the targeted devotees wrote the reflection/confession letters, the next step was to “come clean” in physical confession/questioning sessions by the couple and other devotees. The process was very intense and one session normally lasted for long hours, 9-12 hours for a session is a common scene and could easily be finished past-midnight. Sometimes it could finish at 3 or 4 am NZ time, even once it went on for a whole night without sleep till the next morning 7 am for a NZ devotee. During these sessions the targeted devotees were kneeling down most of the time while being questioned. These operations were claimed to “get rid of the ego”. It was very exhausting mentally and physically, I often lost my mind and could hardly remain conscious, I felt like a brick.

Brainwashing as a group:
The other devotees were given instructions about what questions to ask or how to respond/treat the targeted one. The wife often had “pre-meetings” with other devotees or sent messages to explain scenarios, or gave hints what “mis-conducts” the targeted ones had done. They would go through the whole WhatsApp chats histories and emails to pick up any “mistakes” or “flaws” that the targeted one had done according to the couple’s “standard” and undergo group attacks for “shocking treatment”. The other devotees were brainwashed this way and trained to drill the targeted one in the confession sessions to get the “results” they wanted, the person being drilled would agree to the “evil/cunning/malicious” deeds. The wife used to say I was the “Mother of Kosmic Fusion”, during the confession session she told the other devotees I was actually the “step mother”, the students just agreed to whatever she said.

Threatening and physical abuse:
Sometimes the targeted one(s) would get slapped by other devotee(s) in the face if they were regarded as doing something “wrong” or “evil”, it was a very stressful and scary process. When I was on the spotlight, they manipulated and twisted the facts so much and the wife kept threatening me every 15-20 mins nearly every session saying they would send me to the court/jail to force me to “come clean” and say their version of what they wanted to hear. She even threatened me she would send me to hell or make me become an animal in China for my next incarnation. I told them “I want to die” when I had emotional meltdown, the wife said I had “emotional drama” and other devotees repeated what she said, one devotee said I am a crazy woman and should be sent to jail. Only when I went through these sessions myself I realized how horrifying it was.

Video/Audio recording & mind control:
All confession sessions were video/audio recorded and distributed to the other devotees who were absent in the sessions. From what I had experienced showing the wife is an expert in playing with words and mind games to manipulate people. During these sessions she used various ways to put words in my mouth to admit things I had never done to “collect evidence” to protect themselves in case of litigation, or to make those accused pay money that they are falsely accused of stealing. Most of the targeted ones were asked to read their confessions in front of the camera as the “end product”, which I finally figured out their intentions recently when I saw the blacklist on social media as well as on their websites. They were very well prepared.

Taking financial advantages:
They made the targeted one(s) feel guilty and then asked to “payback” the money or sign documents to keep records. One devotee was asked to donate her apartment and signed a contract. In 2017 alone I had spent over AU$ 25,000 including the Indian Pilgrimage, contributions for building the temple, the wife’s sarees, the money spent during the 3 months staying in the Ashram, as well as covering “their cost” for whatever they made me believe and to pay off the male devotee’s credit card under the company. I gave them all the cash money I had with me (less than AU$ 500), but they still framed me for wanting money.

Later in November 7-11, 2017 I was asked to fly to Auckland for 3 days in the couple’s new house (called “Abode”). I was instructed to bring all my electronic devices with me, if I refused to do so they would call the police. So I went there with lots of fear and anxiety. I kneeled down all the time to “confess” in front of the couple, her daughter, the male devotee and the Dubai devotee, and the rest of devotees joined online over the 3 days. There was no food or drink offered from late morning/early afternoon to midnight when I was there, I could only rely on the bottle of water I had with me. All sessions were being recorded on their camera and computer.

On the first day (Nov 8th) I was threatened every 20-30 minutes that they would call NZ police to arrest me if I didn’t “come clean”. The wife tried every possible way to put words in my mouth to make me confess, sometimes the wife asked me to repeat what she said. There are no words to describe what I felt. At the end of the day I was sent away around midnight to my hotel room, but they took my laptop and asked for all my passwords. The husband is working in the IT field and very familiar with retrieving files, etc. Apparently he was able to access my computer history activities.

On the second day (Nov 9th) the first question the Dubai devotee asked me was if I had a copy of the files, when I replied “yes” she immediately slapped my face with a big force. From this moment on I constantly got slapped by her during my confession, and the wife asked me “why I did this to her?” Sometimes the Dubai devotee stood only one foot-step from me and starred at me for every single word I said, and lifted her hand up ready to slap me at any time. The wife started to throw things at me from time to time when she got very angry. Again they threatened to call police a few times every hour. Then they took away my passport and mobile when I went to the toilet. The husband started to delete all my contacts who know about Kosmic Fusion in my mobile. He checked my personal messages on Facebook, and deleted all chats in Facebook messengers and WhatsApp chats (nearly 100 chat groups). Any images he considered related to this group were deleted by the husband. They tried to frame me in every possible way from the information they retrieved from my mobile and laptop. Around mid-night they send me back to my hotel room but still kept my mobile and passport.

Over these three days I felt I was treated like a criminal in the military camp, constantly been accused and had to commit for the “crimes” that I didn’t even have any clues about. The last day was most intense. Even the male devotee slapped me once gently and the wife was encouraging him to continue to do so. The wife constantly threw things at me and even pulled my hair and beat me in front of the devotees; during my toilet break she told them this was “Darshan” (the witness of God’s divine images or actions). For the whole day she kept threatening me with calling the NZ police all the time, she kept repeating the “reference number” (indicating they had reported me to the police) and demanded me to “come clean”, not giving me any time to think. I was too scared and very close to losing my mind, I didn’t even know what I was saying, I nearly went mad… I really wanted to hit my head on the window at that time. I felt so helpless and could only do what they asked; it felt like in a never ending torture.

Meanwhile the husband was busy all the time to access my devices and occasionally asked me questions. Apart from the mobile, he also deleted all my emails in my laptop to destroy any possible evidence that would go against what they claimed, and unfriended 200+ people in my Facebook trying to cut me off from “their people”. They forbade me to have any access to all of my social media accounts unless with their permission even after I left Auckland.

Around mid-night I was asked to write and sign a paper to hand over all my devices including whatever I still had at home, the wife said she would burn my house if she found I kept any piece of paper related to Kosmic Fusion. I was then asked to sign a lengthy document that I was not allowed to read, I believe it was the list of “crimes” they wrote that they accused me of. They only returned my passport and mobile before I left and kept my laptop, USBs, hard drive, etc. I had brought with me. They let me leave their place at 2 am so that I had just enough time to go back to where I stayed and packed my luggage and headed to the airport at 4.30 am, I didn’t have time to sleep and was totally exhausted on the way back to Australia.

When I look back, I ask myself “Did I have the choice not to go to Auckland for this trip?” Their control was absolute. They are masters at knowing how to manipulate good people for their own purposes and I may not have been able to see the true colors of this couple who claimed to have ‘divine powers’ until it was revealed through the intensity of forced confessions, emotional and physical abuse. That is all they are masters at.

I am free to write my story, I am free from their power, I won’t be surprised if the couple will try to do anything to stop me from speaking the truth. I am happy to do a lie detector test together with any of the devotees who had witnessed what I experienced especially for these 3 days.

When I came back to my place from the intense 3 day confessional sessions in the New Zealand trip, there were already 2 Sydney devotees waiting at my house to collect my other devices and the rest of my stuff. One of the Sydney devotees had been “quarantined” and had no contact to anyone in the group for a few months; she had no clue as to what was happening. Another Sydney devotee (in her 60s) said to me “you piece of shit” when I tried to hand in whatever was left at home. Later on I tried to ask for my devices back via email but a Netherlands devotee replied I already “surrendered” my stuff to them and gave more twisted stories.

During these 2-3 months, the wife also sent 2-3 Sydney devotees to come to my house 4-5 times to collect any items related to “Kosmic Fusion” that I had to hand in, including my workshop notes, working papers, the crystals I purchased blessed by the wife, my client records, my practitioner certificate, small gifts I received from volunteering the exhibitions in 2013, etc. The Sydney elderly devotee even asked me to swear on my son’s life to prove I didn’t take the wife’s portable hard-drive she lost during her trip to Dubai.

All my efforts for the group were completely wiped out and turned up-side-down within this short period of time, I didn’t expect any appreciation from anyone but was stunned to see what came back to me. These devotees used to respect me for my hard work and considered me as a “great devotee” but now would spit on me after being brainwashed by this couple. They used to teach people about “Oneness” in the early teachings but now I can only see control and hierarchy in this group and I see no love and compassion in them.

Even my Swaminarayan Mandir (Indian home temple) and whole room of “Prasadis” (items associated or used by the Indian God/Deity) including what I bought from the India pilgrimage with my own money I had to “surrender” to them, because the wife said the Indian God/Deity Shreeji Maharaj had spoken and gave up on me. Same treatment with the other targeted devotees that we had to hand in our Kanthi, mala, puja (worship) items, the scripture Vachanamrut, the wife’s footprint, everything related to the Indian God/Deity was taken away because we lost the “privilege” to be associated with Bhagwan Swaminarayan anymore and should be ashamed.

I had a feeling they wanted to destroy any evidence that would go against them, because they send the Sydney devotees to my place to copy and delete my files in the computer. Intuitively I made a copy in a portable hard drive for the working files I had accumulated over the 5 years and over 9,000 images from all the events I participated in, including the “discourses” recordings from most of the confession sessions from the previous targeted devotees, and my personal files, etc. to protect myself for any possible legal actions in the future. Which later on they accused me for “stealing” their “intellectual property”, how do I “steal” if they didn’t give them to me or allow it in the first place?

I still had to attend the online confession sessions after I come back from the trip. On my son’s birthday they didn’t give me time for my family and still drilled me on the call for long hours. Around midnight they sent the male member and the elderly devotee to my house to “reveal” my story to my husband, one devotee on the call said it’s a “birthday present” for my son. I don’t blame these devotees, it’s simply showing the couple had successfully made the devotees become their duplicated version.

Before that moment I was still devoted to the couple and was still hoping I could stay in the group no matter what; I worked very hard to earn their “forgiveness” and for my “soul liberation”. But when they started to target my family, I told myself “That’s it! If I need to go to hell, I don’t care!!” I won’t let them touch my family. My life was already like a living hell when I went through these confession sessions, no more for me!!!

The devotees kept ringing my mobile in the following two weeks, a Netherlands devotee also sent me a warning email to take the “final chance” to come clean. They even rang my husband to ask me to join the online session; I never gave my husband’s mobile number to anyone except the male devotee, how come my husband received a phone call from another devotee?

I went through enormous depression since Sep 2017, after I decided to leave the group my belief system was falling apart, I was totally shut down and didn’t want to talk to anyone. My husband and my son were my only support to go through the lowest point in my life. Fortunately they were not affected too much and I tried to be normal in front of them. Along my healing and recovery process I gradually found out more “secrets” about this couple (some not to be revealed here), and that explains why they won’t let me go.

They accessed my laptop from Auckland and changed my passwords/Facebook accounts: On the 21st of March 2018, I received a few email notifications on my mobile phone that my laptop had been accessed from Auckland and some of my email passwords have been changed. Some new social media accounts/passwords also been created or changed through accessing my laptop. Later on I also found the husband added his mobile number to be one of the verification methods to access my personal emails or social media accounts without using the password. My privacy is under threat and they are still doing whatever they like. Apart from my laptop and other devices they kept in Auckland, some of my belongings are spread among the devotees in Sydney. I am hoping they are able to return them back to me one day.

Fake “Formal Notice of Legal Action” letter: On the 2nd of April 2018, I received an email from “Kosmic Fusion Information Desk” with a fake “Formal Notice of Legal Action” written by the husband Sree Ji instead of a lawyer to further threaten me with many false accusations mentioned:

“I serve you this formal notice to respond on/before 3PM NZT, 7th April 2018 on why we should not take a legal action against you; failing to receive any satisfactorily response (via email or post) by aforementioned date, we will be immediately filing suit against your systematic and slanderous actions detailed in attached letter.”

"... we intend to proceed with legal action against you regarding damages & filing suit as recovery of monetary damages worth NZ $750,000 (as at 31st March 2018)."
"We will pursue both damages and attorney's fees and costs incurred as a result of your actions. This is a very serious matter that requires your immediate attention. We therefore strongly recommend that you contact us immediately to address and resolve this situation."
"Please be aware that this letter is copyrighted and you are not authorized to publish this in any matter. Use of this letter in posting, in full or in part, will subject you to further causes of action."

It was a very odd “legal letter” to read that revealed their true intentions behind. The husband also sent me a print copy via post, I ignored the email and there were more psychic attacks/harassments on the way…

Blacklist on Kosmic Fusion Websites and Social Media: People told me there are “important public notice of blacklisting” with smear messages posted on the Kosmic Fusion and other websites, social media such as Facebook and Meetup groups, etc. After I left this group I have stopped using “Irene” or “Komal” because they have projected so much negativity in these names that only brings me sad memories. But I couldn’t believe they used my Facebook profile image without my permission and included my new name “Joy” on their defamation posts. Initially there were three people who had been blacklisted, later on one NZ devotee’s name was taken off because she had expressed her “deep regret”. It implies the couple would either be in full “control” or “destroy” the follower’s reputation/career to remain their power.

In mid-June 2018 they put up another NZ ex-member’s confession audio recording about 9 mins long on the website, she also went through the confession process just before me and was asked to read her confession letters in front of a camera, but they put up the audio version only.

Not surprised, my audio file was also put up in late-June 2018. I left the group without “completing” my confession sessions, so I didn’t go through the “final stage” of reading my confessions in front of the camera. I only listened to a little bit of the audio version. There was so much editing and they completely cut out the parts when they were shouting and yelling at me, how they abused me and the language they used to threaten me. In order to extract and edit the 44 minutes long audio file as the “end product” they most likely went through hundreds hours of original recordings. Why are they not showing the video? Because I was in enormous fear and pain, showing my face will reveal how stressed and scared I was during the confession.

Finally, it seems to me this couple is presenting their “ultimate products” of their manipulations and the message is very clear: if you are NOT under our control this is what happens!”

There is no point to defend myself for the defamation they created from nowhere, the following example is enough to show who this couple truly are:

Why do they keep attacking, harassing me and damaging my reputation even after I had left the group? The wife already “warned” me she will make sure I won’t succeed in offering any services to the public in Australia in one of the confession sessions. They surely don’t want to see me resume my spiritual journey and be who I AM. It was my lesson to learn when I gave my power away to this couple. I chose to believe the couple were always right and it’s their “Supreme Grace” to give the “final soul liberation” until I found out their agenda after going through these traumas. It’s time to speak the truth and have my power back. I don’t need to rely on anyone to decide who I want to be.

There are still many innocent people under their influence, some old students could only see the nice images they created for the public front and don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes. There are many people following their Facebook pages, some people may be vulnerable who have followed “Bhagwan Swaminarayan”.

I am just hoping by sharing my story it can bring awareness to the public to not fall into the trap of any organization like this. Always question and look behind the lovely outer layer that is the trap that offers answers that are too good to be true.

It’s not been easy for me to come to this point from where I was, and I would like to express my gratitude to my family, friends and CIFS (Cult Information and Family Support) members who have been supporting me along this journey.